the never-ending year

..


Is it possible for a year to be endless?


This one certainly feels like it’s here to stay, whether it’s a welcome guest or not.


More than anything, I want to be in the place pictured above. It’s not a hip happening hotspot, or a high-profile retreat. It’s just my favorite place in the entire world, and I miss it terribly lately, even more than I do on a usual day.


Perhaps it’s the fall/winter weather settling in here, with two storms lined up to soak us with rain and snow propelled by vicious wind. Perhaps it’s all the natural disasters that have dominated 2005, or the calamities that followed them as countries and leaders showed how useless, clueless, and flat out elitist they truly are. Perhaps it’s the political and social climate of our country that seems to be twisting itself into a fine hysteria while ignoring that the rich are getting richer, and the poor increasingly destitute. More than likely, it also has to do with the family issues I’ve been trying to deal with/mediate, where people and places and things that I know are fading away and falling apart at breakneck pace. Sickness, anger, and the inevitable are working together now, and there’s not a damn thing to do but watch, and catch those who fall.


Whatever the cause, I want more than anything to be there, one of the few places on earth that balances me, that invigorates me, that restores my faith in possibilities and realization. And I can’t go. I’ll be in the same state in a few weeks, and it will be almost unbearable to not grab a car and drive there, and stay. For good.


Why don’t I? A million reasons, some more valid and pressing than others. But I will say this: find the things that are most important to you, and find a way to hold on to them. Even if you can only sit and appreciate a person or a place or a thing for a few moments, do it. It matters. It will remind you of how you got where you are, and hopefully give you a hint of where you’re going. Whether it’s by listening to a specific song, or hanging on to a set of long-since useless keys, or travelling a few miles out of your way to a forgetten spot, or immersing yourself in the glory of a truly great rock show, or even just reading an article about someone who’s realizing their abilities, do it. So what if it makes you a little late to work or seems silly to others? It’s a sort of celebration of the fragments that have been cemented together into the mosaic that makes you. And more than anything, in this world that stresses the destruction of such unique aspects, there’s just nothing more important. It likely sounds completely daft that I’m urging others with such fluffy crap, but I’m standing firm. Find the things that make you, and appreciate them. Now.

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